Friday, March 10, 2006
2:02 am, It's snowing outside.

Inja kojast? man kiam? midunam inja kojast, inja manam, be man khosh amadid, ziad sakht nistam vali yejuriam, yejuri ke bayad khodet befahmi, fahmidan nadaram, mikham man basham, mane man, na hich mane digeyi.
Na mane to, na mane baghie... mane man, mane khode khodam, mikham male khode khodam basham na male khode digaran.
Mifahmi? javab nade chon gharar nabud befahmi. fahmidani dar kar nist. bayad enghad beri o beri ke yeho bebini. na inke befahmi, bebini. bayad bebini. nemikham az digaran begam nemikham tekrar konam, mikham az tahe tahe khode khodam begam. mikham bekr begam, taze begam, ziad sakht nist, yekam ajibe. ajib gharibe. yavash yavash adat mikoni, ajale nakon, sakht ham nagir, man asoonam, sade bebin mano, age sakht bebini hichvaght nistam. hamishe gom am.
Cheshmato beband, ye nafase amigh bekesh. be hichi fek nakon. yeho siyahi i ke to cheshmaye bastat mibini baaz mishe, amigh mishe, bi tah mishe. hala cheshmato baz kon. didi sakht nabud. didi sakht nistam. labkhand daram. kojash sakhte? hatta ajib ham nist. ghashange na? hala mano didi...

Sefidam, amma na.. aabi am, hamishe aabi boodam, siaham, siahe tah-dar, siahe ghashang. hala ghermez shodam, ghermezo doos daram. roya boodam hava boodam, oon payinaro didam, ghahveyi bood, gerefte bood, sangin shodam, dastamo bordam bala begiramesh ke nayam payin, sangintar shodam, hichi bala nabud omadam payin, tonde tonde tond. khordam zamin. didam zamin sefide. saramo bordam bala, bala aabi bood, delam bara mane aabi tang shod yeho.
Delam mikhast aabi basham. cheshamo bastam ke beram hava, goftam age baaz konam dobare hava am, onvaght cheshamo baaz mikonamo saramo miyaram payin, payino baz mibinam az on bala, vali intori nabud... cheshamo baaz kardam didam zamin toosi shode, man hanuz roo zaminam, mikhastam boland besham, nashod.. dobare dobare dobare.... bazam nashod. goftam khob eshkal nadare ro zamin mimunam. mimunam o cheshamo mibandam. deraz mikesham. enghad cheshamo baste negah midaram ke baz beram hava. basteye basteye baste. vali miduni chi shod?
Dige yadam raft cheshamo baz konam,.... heif shod. dige yadam raft cheshamo baz konam.....

Rang daram, man rangi am, che rangi am? nemidunam, har rangi ke begi hastam. harki mano ye rangi mibine.
khodam khodamo nemibinam, doos daram bedunam vali. behem begoo che rangiam? to miduni? behet begam che rangi am? nemidunam. vali mitunam behet begam che rangi hasti khodet. are khode to. to ye rangi hasti ke hanuz shenakhte nashode.. range khodet. maale maale khodet. hichja nadidamesh tahala.

Rangeto doos daram vali, ghashange.