"we're just lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
running over the same old ground
what have we found?"

"You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all of the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted upon us. So that love contains in it the contradiction:

The attempt to return to the past
and
the attempt to undo the past."

cause the sky is breaking..

like the whispering wind you sent to me
like the hopeless time you gave to me
I watched your dreams all slip away
I watched your dreams all slip away
there's a hopeless place inside my heart
when I look inside I see where we are
like the whispering wind in the top of my trees
i will watch the sky come following me
like the rain on my windows late every night
like the hope I have for us every time
it's like the whispering wind in the top of the trees
I see it sway as you come for me

there's a whispering wind I feel it inside
like a place I can feel but never will see
let a whisper come touch you come touch every thing
I stand in the way of the things I can be
let the whispering wind come lift us away
let it push us apart if we wish to stay
you're my sweetness my baby my love for all time
like the whispering wind it makes you all mine
like the whispering wind you stand here with me
like the whispering wind you stand here with me
I see your dreams all slip away
slip away
slip away
slip away

Why does my heart feel so bad ?

تا اطلاع ثانوی تعطیلم

when i woke up today
i wasn't me
i feel like a little girl
with nothing to think of, no anxiety
in a saturday morning

and oddly everything and anything is reminding me of death today
and it's still 10:54 am..
i'm in my bed under my blanket listening to this song
like i have this irremediable disease
and i'm dying.. slowly.. peacefully.. happily.. and
fully.

i remembered "American Beauty"s ending scene..
when Kevin Spacey died:



"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die.

First of all,
that one second... isn't a second at all.

It stretches on forever,
like an ocean of time.

For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp,
watching falling stars.

And yellow leaves from the maple trees...
that lined our street.

Or my grandmother's hands and the way her skin seemed like paper.

And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand-new Firebird.

And Janie... and Janie.

And... Carolyn.

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me,
but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world.

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much.
My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst.

And then I remember to relax...
and stop trying to hold on to it.

And then it flows through me Iike rain,
and I can't feel anything but gratitude...
for every single moment of my stupid little life.

You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure.

But don't worry.

You will someday."